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My boyfriend is in the ICU & his family won't let me see him

Intensive Care (ICU) | Last Active: Oct 9, 2022 | Replies (3)
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@loribmt

Hi @emmacalabrese What a sad and frustrating situation for you to not be able to see your boyfriend while he’s in the hospital. You’d at least like to be able to spend a few minutes offering support and to know personally that he’s ok.
I’m glad to hear that he is improving with his sepsis infection. They can be very serious. There are often access limits to ICU areas, do to Covid and also any other potential infection risks. So it would be kinder to think that this is the reason you’re not able to see him.
But to be told to ‘give him space…forever’, that is hurtful and unkind of his parents. It is thoughtful of his sister to include you in updates. Do you know if your letters are being given to him?
Letters are cathartic for you as well. Writing helps heal and often releases pent up emotions from our minds whether they are thoughts of love, or sadness and in this case a little anger and resentment from being restricted from being with person you love.

I don’t know of any recourse you have if you’re not a blood relative. Stay the course and don’t lash out in anger. Maybe consider writing a letter to his parents. Write two! The first one filled with the pent up animosity you’re feeling!! THEN RIP IT UP…☺️. After that, the second letter, the one that you might send them, will be level headed, calmer and clearly stated with what you’d like for them to know about you or whatever it is you need for them to hear. That way there are no angry words, no lashing out.

I hope your boyfriend makes a rapid recovery and is moved out of the ICU soon so that you might visit. It sounds like your doing a little soul searching yourself while this is taking place. Perhaps a new, clean start when you’re reunited will take place. Hopefully the breach with his parents can be mended too. 🙂

Have you asked his sister if your BF has requested to see you?

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Replies to "Hi @emmacalabrese What a sad and frustrating situation for you to not be able to see..."
em | @emmacalabrese | Oct 9, 2022

thank you so much for your response, Lori. I'm trying really hard to stick it out and, honestly, it's not that hard. I would (and will!) do anything to be back with him. Right now, it's just a waiting game until he's out of the ICU and can start contacting people and requesting visitors (without his dad trying to control these decisions). I've not actually sent the letters to him knowing that his family would not give them to him. I've been using them more as, not only an outlet to express my own feelings, anxieties, and stressors, but also as a way to have something to give him when he is able to see me.
It's funny you mention it, but I am really praying for a fresh, clean start with him. We've been very destructive with each other and were not always making the best decisions (something his parents blame me for). Even though it's only been a little over a week, I've already made major changes in my own outlook on life. I've become more positive (somehow haha) and have a much more stable and healthy approach to life in general. I'm hoping that this will transgress into my boyfriend's life as that is something that will significantly benefit his healing process.
Thank you, again, for your response. You've really made me feel heard and much less alone.

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