You're not alone in all these thoughts and experiences Friend. I am now only 3 weeks out from this loss and much of what you're describing is applicable to me. If this doesn't improve somehow, which I am not holding high hopes for, then I definitely want to go full-court press toward a Cochlear Implant - because I am not ready to simply release having 2 ear hearing. I have another friend who has apparently done this - but that's definitely not me. I have found out my Cigna insurance does cover this issue (at least from my initial investigation) so after my MRI and follow up consultations with my ENT (and a second opinion) I will work hard toward this if I am a good a good candidate. I want to encourage you to stay occupied in as much a regular pursuit of your life as you can and don't become discouraged by your circumstances. As human beings we have an amazing ability to adapt, by God's Grace, and while there will be big challenges and disappointments there will certainly also be good rewards if we work toward what's possible!