My husband died of lung cancer very suddenly. He never talked about it. He was given a suggested two months but lasted a fortnight and was driving a week before he died. But we had done everything we needed to with the lawyer about five years beforehand and I had a fair idea what he wanted for a funeral. Three years later I haven’t got over it but he was lucky. He died in the hospice and they were wonderful to us all. He has very little pain. He wanted a secular funeral and it took us all three days to write the obituary choose the music and the coffin. I only cried when the undertaker gave me his wedding ring.
I too have put everything my family will need in a box. Name of lawyer, will, power of attorney documents, dates in my life and an account of my early life. I watched them do their father’s obituary and I thought it was good for them. But they were all so upset that they accepted his son on law’s offer to read it which he did beautifully. Please involve your family and don’t try to protect them.