@talbot Alanon is an adjunct 12-step program to Alcoholics Anonymous, attended by family and friends of alcoholics and drug addicts. I have not attended these meetings, but have heard that they can offer guidance on how to deal with/live with those affected by substance abuse.

Perhaps an honest conversation with your son regarding his employment situation, what might be keeping him from holding onto a job and how he can remedy that, will help you both. At some point we have to make a decision to "sink or swim", as much as it hurts us. I have known several people who decided to not carry their child financially, and that youngster needed that push to stand on their own two feet. I sincerely hope that the funds you are sending him are not cutting in to your own life, and ability to care for yourself [food and necessities]?
Ginger