Perhaps 10-15 years ago my husband started to become thoughtless and even a bit rude to me. He was a CPA With his own business. At that time it seemed he loved his business and gave it more attention than me or family. I am in a wheelchair but whenever we went out to eat with friends, he would leave me stranded and friends or my children would have to help me. He had a knee problem and he would use anything as excuse why he couldn’t help me. Then in 2019 he said his knee gave out and fell in the house not injuring himself but i needed to call fire department for a lift up. He saw his PCP and he did all kinds of test on him ruling out many things thinking maybe he had a mini stroke, including brain scan and then send him to neurologist for possible a form of dementia. He of course was having many problems in his office especially with the computer and balancing numbers. So the end of that year my son helped him close his office. My husband didn’t really do anything to help. I believe he was in denial of his problems. His life was his business.. in 2020 the neurologist pointed out some reasons for memory loss but according to his age not unreasonable age 87. Another CPA in the area gave him a small cubicle in his office as My husband felt he had to finish up his business. He had sold his business to this CPA. He went to that office daily for about a month however he was becoming incontenent of urine and while there would wet himself so the CPA employees complained of my husband odor and eventually i think the CPA asked him to not come back, as about 4 months later he stopped going to that office but continued to be on his home office computer running his business he still thought he had. Taking CE courses to be able to renew his license. That kept him “ out of my hair” because if he wasn’t in his home office he had TV on loud with either FOX news or football or baseball. I enjoy baseball with TV on all his waking hours. So of course id ask him nicely to tun it down and he had become hard of hearing so he needed to hear. I’d become angry. I tried just about everything I could hoping he would be thoughtful of me. Nothing worked. Here it is 3 years later and he sleeps up to 17 hrs a day eats very little sometimes has to be fed, has to be sponge bathed in bed. Is incontenent of BM as well as urine. I am sad for him. I have car givers for him 7 hr 7 days a week. So if you as a spouse or loved one have this kind of experience with your spouse or loved one, and suspect problems with brain, you probably are not imagining it. All his family outside of our home jus said “ oh dad has always acted that way.” But they need to live with that person 24 hr for a week and then I wonder if they would still say the same thing.
This type of condition is so devastating to me, it is I believe the hardest I’ve had to endure in my now 89 years. God bless all of you that have to experience similar conditions with your loved ones.