@fisbo Oh, my dear, my dear... I do understand your comment about not caring to be glamorous any more because of pain. Ugh, pain drains us, but....only if we allow it to. Surely there are better minutes, hours or days than others and it's those small wins that have to be our motivation. Can you think of a small win that you may have had recently?

I began becoming disabled around age 43 and by 46 I was on temporary disability from my 26 year banking career. I've always taken pride in my appearance (just like you), since I was a teenager and studied cosmetology. It was a hobby and brought me joy. Once I was no longer able to work, I thought, why, why would I continue to put on make-up, jewelry and style my hair daily when I sat home by myself in pain? WRONG answer.

I knew better, and even though I succumbed to that mentality once in a while whether it be physically or mentally, I reminded myself that looking in the mirror every day and seeing what I liked helped my self esteem, and we all know that self-esteem takes a hit when dealing with chronic symptoms. That was my start, my goal each day...get out of bed, get dressed, maybe not be AS glamorous, but dang it all, keep fighting to care about myself!

I admire that you have hope. Keeping hope alive for a cure is awesome, but in the mean time waiting for a cure may mean what beautiful life you have in front of you may be wasting away. Fisbo, what do you think might be one small step in the right direction for you to feel better physically, emotionally or behaviorally? Might it be setting a small goal like putting on a piece of jewelry each day? Might it be wearing a little lipstick? What do you think might help you feel a little better about yourself?