That indeed is the worst part. For me, it's trying to control my mind more than my body. People are walking around living with Stage 4. It's unbelievable to me. I'm 70, I recently went to a high school reunion where two of my friends have stage 4 and one has lived with it for 14 years. We are indeed blessed. But the not knowing, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and where the hell in my body will it rear its ugly head next-- is the stuff you feel in every cell of your body. Please keep us updated on your future treatment, how the chemo pill is working out, etc. I'll be thinking of you !