Ha, I really do appreciate that. I know what I can sound like here. And I’ll take it. But I’m also a worrier by nature, which has made the aspects of this that are out of my control extra difficult to deal with. Mainly it’s:
- Knowing that I have a high plaque load, that spontaneous plaque rupture can happen at any time and that the stats say high CAC is the single strongest predictive variable for future event.
- Not knowing how I acquired so much plaque so early in life. As I’ve said, there’s no obvious family history or blood level that points to this. Every cardiologist who has looked at my profile has been very surprised to see that I have any plaque, let alone this much. So I fear that something is driving this in me that is not well-recognized or understood; that the current best practices for care — which I am following — won’t be effective in the face of it; and that the atherosclerotic process will continue unabated. Something to do with thyroid resistance, insulin resistance, a broader resistance to hormones — I dunno. But I do think that’s where I’ve had some I’ll-defined but serious issues metabolically for the last decade that have baffled some top doctors and endocrinologists. So I suspect there’s a link here but that any meaningful diagnosis (and a treatment based on it) will remain elusive.