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Emotional aftermath following breast cancer treatment
Breast Cancer | Last Active: Oct 27 8:29pm | Replies (116)Comment receiving replies
@rhongirl My journey differs from yours only by cancer in a different place in my body. I was diagnosed with endometrial cancer in 2019 and my mood was good for 2 years until I had a recurrence in late 2021. After the initial shock of that recurrence diagnosis I had 5 weeks of radiation therapy at Mayo Clinic (I live far enough away that I chose to live in Rochester, MN during that period). I rang the bell when I finished. And I came home. Within a month after I came home I knew I was sinking down. It's like I "knew" what I was going through but I also knew I didn't feel it deep down. Like you, I'm functional, I can do what I need to do but I've been more anxious, irritable and depressed than I've been in many, many years. I was already on a low dose of duloxetine and I've thought many times of asking my doctor for an increase. I'm doing what I can with exercise, diet, meditation, and practicing acceptance and giving myself the time I need.
By the way, my partner has been somewhat baffled by my emotional response. He talked with HIS psychologist who has a background in oncology and he told my partner that my response (and yours, by the way) is very, very normal and common after treatment ends. The psychologist validated what I said so now my partner understands better. At least I hope he does. There is that initial elation followed by a downswing in mood.
Has cancer changed my life? Yes, most definitely. Does it make me grateful for every day. A reserved yes, but not the way many people who have not experienced cancer seem to think when I'm asked that question.
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Thanks, Helen. Hearing others speak of this part of the journey helps. I guess I anticipated I would be cruising into the new normal by now. . . but I feel tired and worn out yet from this long ordeal. It's been my first few months back at work, which is very taxing and physical. I'm pretty tired from that, too, but I can do what I need to do, and that part is great. It's the unpredictable emotional swings. . . . . they come and go. Some days almost like PMS on steroids. :o. Your description of the initial elation followed by a downswing in mood is spot-on. I have the educational background (my master's in therapy/counseling), but when it happens to me, it is not textbook stuff. . . it is the reality of having to unpack my own stuff instead of helping someone else unpack theirs. It's ironic - in grad school I requested a medical internship in oncology. I guess I've experienced both sides now.
Knowing that this will pass is helpful. . . I'm just glad to know how others are feeling after their intensive treatment regimes are over.
I really only have tatoos left with my care plan (choices). Everything else has been done. My plastic revision surgery after breast reconstruction went well, and I am all healed, yet there is an area leftover some might wish to "redo" yet again. . . but I am so done with surgery! I had a reaction (so they think) with my surgery in that I broke out with these terrible hives. . . so itchy and painful. The dermatologist said it was rare, but it began to clear after a month, so I counted myself lucky that it was over, and moved on. No more surgery, please!!
Thank you, again, for sharing your experiences. My husband really tries to understand, but the truth is, a person cannot if they haven't walked in the big cancer-shoes themselves. I'm working at being thankful daily. That helps. Until this passes, I'll just keep on keepin' on.
thanks. 🙂