Hi JJ, I hope you are feeling better today and the responses you’ve received helped! I totally understand feeling like it would be a relief if I wasn’t here. I’ve had those thoughts and feelings myself. Speaking for myself, I try to remember I’m here for a reason. My faith tells me that God has a plan for me I may not understand. I’m also pretty isolated, having had chronic pain for many years. I’ve had a hard time getting out, maintaining friendships and simply being able to take care of myself. I’ve had times when I was shunned by family and it was very painful emotionally. I lost my father and older brother in the past 10 years and some close friends as well. I understand loss and limitations from health issues. Not to mention the challenges we face as we age! Throughout my life I’ve hung onto my faith and I’ve found contentment in the simple things in life. I try not to let my challenges overwhelm me by finding enjoyment in a morning cup of coffee, a short walk or a good movie. I have a dog who offers me unconditional love! I now have a relationship with my mother that I cherish. I’ve found pleasure in a few interest’s like a small garden, made an attempt at drawing and painting! I practice meditation and make smoothies with my favorite fruit. I try to eat good. I take small steps every day to benefit myself in some way. It’s not always easy for sure! I have depression and when I’m feeling down, it’s not easy to get through the day. I try to remember those feelings will pass. I live alone so it’s up to me to stay focused on the positive things in my life! We face many challenges in our world today! I hope you continue to reach out to find support and hope for yourself. I think you’ve made a great step coming here, there are wonderful caring people to offer tools and information to help. Have you talked to a therapist or general practitioner about how you’re feeling? I have both and they can help!