Thank you for letting me know how you react. I just get awake and panicky thinking of the future and how I will take care of myself. I live in a full range CCRC so the services are here when I need them but I just don't want to have to need them.

When my husband was alive and I would get testy he would say "your stinger is out" to remind me to pull back on the irritability. Now I have to self-regulate my moods. I can't imagine being on your level of prednisone and the toll it takes. You are really challenged for sure and I wish you well. I have r/a and post polio syndrome and other issues. Basically I look ok from the outside but like to say about myself, "I have termite damage, it's all on the inside". Mary Ellen