Thank you for your words of wisdom. They are so helpful!
I am trying really hard to stop thinking about the what ifs. I do spend my time volunteering at our local hospital and making heart pillows for breast cancer patients. But I am divorced and live alone ( usually I am happy living alone) so when I am home is when the what if thoughts start. I am trying to do some breath work as well.
I am already writing down my questions for my follow up on Thursday with the surgeon who did the biopsy. My biggest fear is they will want to do surgery to take the node out when they do not have a clear answer if it is or is not cancer. I don’t think they know. Other tests periodically I am willing but my head swirls just thinking about being cut on because the last surgery I had for the breast implants I wound up with blood clots in my lungs and in the hospital on warfarin and almost dying. So surgery scares me.
I also was sent by my medical oncologist to this large teaching hospital for the biopsy procedure (Shands in Jax) because it isn’t done at my local hospital. My medical oncologist has a personal relationship with the surgical oncologist he referred me to and spoke with him personally about me. So I consider the surgical oncologist as a second opinion. After seeing the second oncologist this Thursday I will go back to my medical oncologists here at home (very experienced and trustworthy) to decide where we go from here based on the surgical oncologist recommendation.
Am I doing everything right? I keep wondering if I should be lining up yet another oncologists to speak to or not. But in my heart I know what I am looking for is an oncologist to say “ stop worrying this is nothing”. Right now that’s not possible. I keep second guessing myself. I don’t really have anyone to bounce this off of. My daughter and son are so supportive as well as my sister who lives in another state. No one has answers ..just words of encouragement while being patient with myself is exhausting. Thank you for letting me rant!