The only lymph node surgery I had was a sentinel node excision and biopsy. I didn't have any tubes or anything to deal with but am sure you'd rather not have this to deal with either. Can you ask your oncologist for referral to a counselor trained to work with breast cancer survivors? Unfortunately, there are other women, in your age group, also facing some of the same things and it might at least be a place where they will know and understand you. The reality is that a lot of us got cancer simply because we lived long enough where the odds turned against us and, from a different perspective, living to become 86 is a triumph. But I understand how dismaying this is and hope you'll rally through it.