Good morning Tova- Before I completely misread this what does "he’s y smoker" mean? (heavy smoker?)

I am certainly not a geneticist so I can not decipher this for you. I don't know if the gene made it easier for you to get cancer or if smoking did a long time ago and changed things. I'm sure that it is even more complicated than my simple questions.

Of course, you are scared! I don't think that anyone who has been diagnosed with cancer is blase about it. It's perfectly normal. Lately, I've been talking my fears down by thinking, "my doctor doesn't want me to be maimed, or die. It's his job to see that I come out of this as safely and healthy as can be. And without any cancer! Why would he waste all of his time, resources and education, and knowledge on me if he wasn't going to do his best? He wouldn't.

On the 30th of this month, I will be having a PET scan and lung function test at my hospital, Mass General in Boston. I have a very small lesion that has grown and my radiologist wants to make sure that everything is perfect before he zaps it with elements from the heavens!

This will make my third SBRT. (a very directed radiology technique). I've also had 2 lobectomies and Chemo, years ago. Am I afraid? YoubetchaIam! For me, my fear is that my Lung Function test will show that my lungs, from the loss of so much tissue, won't be strong enough for me to be treated by SBRT and that it will lead to a much more serious and less effective treatment for me.

But for now, I have to trust him, with all of my heart, soul, and head, and I know that he will do everything that he can for me to continue my best life.

Your doctor has decided to do a lobectomy as the safest way to treat you. He's being cautious! You can't ask for much more! There are a lot of organs that are close to your heart. There's just no way to get away from how our bodies are designed. Being near your heart doesn't mean touching or intertwined. And people have open heart surgery, have things inserted into it, etc. all of the time with wonderful outcomes.

I'm not going to tell you not to be afraid. There are multiple reasons for you to be afraid, especially with something new.
https://njnbi.com/scared-of-surgery-anxiety/
Try and use what has worked for you in the past to reduce your fear, try slow breathing techniques. To reduce your fear doesn't mean that it will all go away. It will make you more comfortable. Read, research, and learn everything that you can. Education is power. Ask your surgeon if you can see one of the operating rooms, talk to an operating nurse and ask her everything that you can think of! I'm here for you! Here's a hug and I can hold hands via the internet. Or I'll be on your shoulder if you want. YOu aren't alone and there are so many people in this group who know exactly how you feel.

Does this sound at all reasonable or helpful?