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Spouse with cognitive problems and finances
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Dec 30, 2022 | Replies (290)Comment receiving replies
Bill turns the TV on when he gets up and off when he retires for the night. He has a TV streamer and mutes the sound for Robin and I (and the kitties). He forgets a lot and it will come blaring on. When I am watching he thinks he is helping me by keeping it on mute, not realizing that I can't hear it even if I explain it to him. He has his streamer set so high that we can actually hear sound coming from his ears. Makes for very interesting TV watching on our parts. In the meantime he is perfectly happy so we leave the 'sound' up to him.
He used to spend a lot of time on his computer, constantly asking for my help as he couldn't remember how to work various programs. This past month he has basically given up on the computer to the great joy of all of us, including the kitties who would panic when he would start screaming and cursing. I think his Seroquel kicking in helped a lot on getting him away from the computer - easier to acknowledge that he can't work it except for email and even then has a problem. He also doesn't want phone calls and has given up trying to call anyone. If kids call or I call them, he will only talk a minute or two.
He seems content not to have long (10 minute at most) conversations with daughter Robin or me.
Last night both Robin and I noticed a change in his face but can't pinpoint what is different. Just something 'off'. Another large red purpura appeared on his arm along with two others that appeared the other day. Legs both have them, with one tending to bleed. Part of his CVI.
Lately he has been talking a lot about dying and asking how long his doctors give him (they haven't said anything). He has also been praying for death lately - before he was maintaining he was going to live to 105. Not sure if this is normal with dementia, a phase, or what??? Never sure how to answer his questions.
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If there's a change in your husband's face, I would suspect something, possibly stroke related. Maybe you can check with the doctor, send him a photo. Maybe Bill is sensing something about his death. My mother-in-law had no dementia, but toward the end she was tired of living and prayed for death. An uncle who was in his 90s and frail, with no dementia, refused to eat, since he couldn't take a pill that would put him to sleep.
My husband is still committed to life. He gave up on the computer too, without much difficulty. He doesn't like to talk on the phone and is content in his own world, reminiscing a lot about his childhood. The only thing he asks about is how the Dow Jones is doing everyday. The worst thing he did lately was get angry with a physical therapist who was trying to get him to stretch his leg. He walked out on PT. Now he is hobbling on his good leg and has some back pain. Sad the way he can't comprehend that doing what is necessary for health is sometimes uncomfortable. He'll do the exercises for me, but I have to coax him, give him a pep talk every time. It is tiring sometimes. I have to be everything to him, take care of the household and attend to my own wellbeing. There's not enough time in the day!
He is quite taken with a stray dog we feed when we go for a walk and opines about bringing her home, but she is wary and generallydistrustful of people, although she lets us pet her. She won't leave her safe place - under a dilapidated house. A dog might benefit my husband, but that also comes with more responsibilities, which I am reluctant to take on at this point.
Thank you for sharing your experiences.