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Spouse with cognitive problems and finances
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Dec 30, 2022 | Replies (290)Comment receiving replies
Hi Julie,
Will’s dementia is almost out of control and our big move back home is causing him more confusion! We are down to days to leave and go back home to Illinois where we have family and friends to help us. We moved here to North Carolina about 3 years ago for warmer weather and to be closer to his son. His son is an airplane pilot and is gone a lot and his wife isn’t interested in us at all. So there is no support here and we’re moving back to Illinois to be near family and friends. However, this move has been difficult for Will, because of losing things and trying to find them again. I believe this move is intensifying his confusion and he is really scared. Can’t wait until we are at home again in our small apartment with few chores and no maintenance for Will.
Replies to "Hi Julie, Will’s dementia is almost out of control and our big move back home is..."
Hi @janet7
It sounds as if the moving process will be good in the long run, but it is causing lots of short term stress. I feel concerned when you say that, "his dementia is almost out of control."
Are his doctors able to adjust his meds in order to compensate for the moving stress?
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Good luck on the move. Having just done that a few months ago I know how hard it can be. Even going back to what should be familiar can be difficult, as I understand it. Bill didn't want to get rid of a lot of things he never used. When I had a lot of storage space it didn't matter. Not true now. Like shoes. I got him ones that the heel allows you to step in and out of easily and non slip. His other shoes hurt (has swollen right leg and foot due to either/and CKD or CVI). Hard for him to get on and slick soles. I hid them away and now they have gone to Goodwill. Figured he would never need them and wouldn't be safe for him to wear as well.
Being next to family and friends is a wonderful thing - even if you are doing most of the caregiving. Gives you socialization. One of Bill's problems has always been wanting me to himself! He was always moving us to places that isolated us. Now he 'frets' over my having family to do things with. Triggers anger. I have had to teach myself to ignore his various punishments if I go out. Hard to do after so many years of marriage.
I have started doing Pilates with Robin - good for my lacy bones as well. He is finally getting to where he is accepting this, especially as we go very early (6am classes) so he is usually still asleep by the time I get home. I find that carving out time for myself is a lifesaver. And actually helps in my reactions to his tantrums.