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I am also approaching the one year anniversary of losing my husband of 59 years. In four days it would have been our 60th anniversary. Everyone grieves in their own way. I don't think time heals, it just makes it easier and softer. I try to think of the happier memories and sometimes it works. But, yes, there is anger, especially when I have to take out the trash. That was his job. I cry all the time. Even in public. I was at the grocery store and saw a special thing that I used to buy just for him. Bang!!! here come the tears. Please hold on to hope. It is too early to say it will never change. I thought I could never go out without him. Yet yesterday evening I went out to a movie. A week ago I would have sworn on a stack of bibles that I would not be able to do this. But I did. Just hold on. Keep the faith.
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One year is not a lot of time. Be gentle with yourself. It’s been six years for me and I am just now feeling quite resilient ( although there are moments) . Everyone has their own time table. As my son said to me when my grieving seemed to be consuming me- “ if you need to cry - do it ! And know that the next morning always offers the hope and opportunity for a better day”. He also lined up a counselor for me - which really helped with the anger I felt about how it just wasn’t fair and the guilt I felt for being the one still here. I need to remind myself at times that he’s still here with me - but in a different form, he’s in my heart. And how blessed I am to have that strength within me all the time. In the end I know I will be stronger - even if I’d rather he be here with me instead. So many lessons to learn here on earth - and some simply are HARD (& quite bluntly suck). I wish you well Annie. I believe in your strength. But don’t force it - it will come.