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Loss and Grief: How are you doing?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Apr 7 12:18pm | Replies (932)Comment receiving replies
I am blessed (?) with common sense. I feel I am the best person to know what is for me and I am trying to do it. Unlike you, though, I am not throwing things away. Let them do it. I have done everything else. My children are far away. So not much physical support there. Even so, my oldest son checks in with me almost every day and gives me much moral support. It all helps. My husband also died at home. He was in a board and care for a few weeks with Hospice. When I found out the end was near I asked them to bring him home. So he died in his own home, his own bed and with me beside him. Watching him take his final breaths will haunt me forever.
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I was so thankful to be with my husband in his last moments, as he/we chose to have him on hospice here at home. I think the powers that be woke me up at 4:10am one morning and I sat up to check my husband on the hospital bed in the room next to me. I got up to check him and tell him I loved him, then sat back down to watch him. A few minutes later, I then got up and held him lightly again with my head on his chest, I realized this time his heart was not beating! I was stunned and so grateful that I could be with him in his last moments, but I was broken, as my life was centered around loving and caring for him and keeping our life on track in all aspects of living. I regretted letting him go on chemotherapy, as the Dr had mentioned that usually at his age (late 80's), the medical establishment would most likely suggest not to. But I could not go against my spouses wishes to go on it, so I calmed myself in that respect, as I had let him decide what to do. It has been almost 4 years since then and I still talk to him whenever I feel like it, as it makes me feel better. Is that wrong? Maybe, but I am working my way through this grief hoping to stay in life in a meaningful way with my neighbors here in this senior living community and my children.