Thank you for reminding me to let me myself trust more in God.
Right now I am going through a real depression period. I can't hear out of my left ear so sounds are distorted which affects how I communicate and even though I have 3 different meds for depression from before I stopped taking them all during treatment. I don't see how starting them up again could help me now. One was to help me sleep, well I sleep ok. One was for anxiety Wellbutrin, I don't feel as anxious now as I used to it's almost like "oh come-on what else can you throw at me now". The other was prescribed for pain control "osteoarthritis , fibromyalgia". Well I am taking a small amount of pain meds so don't want to add to that either.
Thing is I don't have anyone to talk to about these kinds of things except for you good folks. My spouse is just waiting for me to "get well" and doesn't want to hear about anything cancer related at all.
One bright spot coming up for me is the docs will be removing the trache tube from my neck next week. I am so thankful for that. I understood the need but really dislike the thing. Next up once I can get myself to eat again, no appetite at all and still have lockjaw, will be the feeding tube. Small things granted but good things to look forward to.

But back to God, he's never far from my thoughts I try and stay thankful for the smallest of things sometimes it's more difficult but I see him in all Creation.
Thanks for listening