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Loss and Grief: How are you doing?
Loss & Grief | Last Active: Apr 7 12:18pm | Replies (932)Comment receiving replies
Lovely introduction to the vast array of grief. My grief associated with my husbands passing has been much more complex due to him dying of a “ curable” cancer (kidney) simply due to the fact he refuses all medical treatment until it was too late and then when he passed all his financial affairs were left POD to himself ( this doesn’t even make sense). He left me and I was so sad, but the way he left me made me so mad, and the mess he left me I just couldn’t wrap my head around. It’s been six years now ( married for 32) and I’m still in a little funk… any ideas of how to break free? I’m a strong & independent person, but not so much so on this front. Still feel married ( like he’s on a REALLY long business trip) - but time is slipping by and I’d love to truly experience life again. Be a part of it - not just waiting. Any ideas ?
Replies to "Lovely introduction to the vast array of grief. My grief associated with my husbands passing has..."
@mercerspring Facing the emotional side of loss can be difficult enough without adding the legal and financial issues on top of it all! Grief piled on with anger, frustration, loneliness can certainly make us feel like we are in a bed of quicksand.
I agree with @thisismarilynb, that is seeing a professional counselor may help you address the issues head on and experience life as you want to, again. When I have gone through loss, I took to writing letters to that person to get my frustration out. Being able to to that, I could relax and deal with practical issues.
How are you doing today?
Ginger
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I think I know what you mean and feel. My husband was not a well man, but he was not dying either. He suffered from Parkinson's so his balance was off. At night he needed to go to the bathroom. I got a walker and pleaded and begged him to use the walker when he had to get up at night to use the bathroom. But he refused because he wanted "to do it himself." As a result, one night he fell and broke his femur. Three months later he was dead. For me this was a useless death and made mourning and grief more intense. As for the financial mess, you need to get with a really knowledgeable attorney or financial advisor. I have started therapy to see if I can resolve the grief and anger. Only two sessions so far, but we seem "to fit." You cannot do it alone. You need help and do not be afraid to ask for it.