No offense intended but this sounds like a study for a college class. Anyway, I pretty much have done both things for the last 30 years. Only I did it as part of growing in my religion. It began with a teaching someone gave me back in 1991, which was that I'd do best to "be a human be-ing" not a "human do-ing." To "just be" doesn't required needing to earn the right to exist. Also, to avoid being a human do-ing." That means to just plain skip finding my existense as someone who is doing "what (I) should." When a person becomes seriously disabled, whatever kind of disabling, I find it is best to do what I can. To continue to try to do what I "should" only sets me up for feeling a failure and inadequate. For example, if my condition makes it impossible for me to wash my outside windows, skip it. Ignore whomever is judging me for not doing them. Who are they to judge me for what I fail to do, anyway. Get on with doing what I can. Like managing to get the dishes done. Even if that means doing them in a bathtub. It's getting them done that matters. Or whatever you can do. And really, doing my dishes is much more important healthwise than washing the outsides of my windows. This also helps us re-evaluate our lives and learn to prioritize better. Later on, I can figure out how to get someone to come and do the windows for me. Maybe for trade, or because they are just great friends, or I got a Stimulus Check from the feds. If I do what I can, it's pretty amazing all the things I can still do, which keeps my attitute positive too. If a chore has to be arranged for, and I have to pay for it, so I do, who gets to say I didn't get it done, then? One has to give up speed though. I mean, doing anything in any measure of being speedy. It is accomplishments and a good try that matter when you have real disablings. Just as it now takes 4 times as long to dress yourself, it's that you got it done that matters. You will find an amazing amount of things you can still do, when you give up doing all you "should" do.