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Talking Frankly about Living with Advanced Cancer

Cancer | Last Active: Jun 18, 2023 | Replies (508)

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@colleenyoung

@baboinwv, my heart goes out to you. Families can be challenging, especially during a health crisis.

Your son has stage IV metastatic pancreatic cancer. It is unlikely that a cure is possible (sorry, I know that is hard to hear.) Putting energy into "advocating for his cure" may not be where your son wishes to expend his energy. His focus now is on quality of life and his oncology and palliative care team are focusing on comfort care.

While you and your son's partner may not get along, keep in mind that you share a man that you both love very dearly. It pains both of you to see him suffer. Might you bridge your differences by talking to her about the love you share and to talk about the goals of treatment for your son, i.e., comfort care? Does he have a palliative care team?

Another thought is to talk with a palliative social worker or an oncology social worker. They can offer support to family members as well as patients. They are there for you. Here is more information about oncology social workers.
– How an Oncology Social Worker Can Help https://connect.mayoclinic.org/blog/cancer-education-center/newsfeed-post/how-an-oncology-social-worker-can-help/

Courage and peace to you.

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Replies to "@baboinwv, my heart goes out to you. Families can be challenging, especially during a health crisis...."

Thank you for your comfort and care but deep in my heart I know there are trials out there for him to try! While there may be no cure there is certainly trials that can really prolong his life and maybe put him in remission!

If it can’t save his life then maybe with the trials it can certainly help progress in finding a cure.

I have a brother-in-law that died of pancreatic cancer over 40 years ago and I think he lived for two years with treatment. But sadly I haven’t seen a lot of progress made in a cure for it until now. Maybe I just notice it more since my son has it now!

The PanCan organization are doing a lot of research with this cancer and there are people that are in remission as we speak. So if nothing else it does give me hope that if we can buy time then they could find a cure any day now! That’s my biggest prayer right now. So any prayers would be greatly appreciated and thank you again for the message.

I have thought that maybe it would be a good thing to seek counseling or a minister to help. But I don’t think she would go for that and I don’t feel close enough to ask her.

Thank you for your advice and I will have to think about approaching the subject with her!

BaboinWV