Hello @linamend, I'm Rachel, it's nice to meet you.

I'm truly sorry for all you've been through. You sound exhausted from the struggle and fight with the invisible disability you've had for all these years. I feel very sad that your prior rehab programs have not privided you with the four main comprehensive components of physical, emotional, behavioral and chemical. Although, maybe they have.

As @hopeful33250 mentioned, I graduated Mayo's Pain Rehab Center. I worked with Dr. Sletten and saw first hand how a program like Mayo's can provide a supportive plan of action and tools for success, but outcomes vary for each participant. Dr. Sletten told us on day one that the program will work for us if we work the program. So, so true and for various reasons not everyone is up to the challenges of self application. An example of this is my mother.

My mom was hit broad side while driving her motorcycle when she was 28, I was 8. It's been a long journey and like you, she is waning in her "invisible disability". I watched her fight all these years. She was stubborn and determined to disguise her disability. She expresses to me now that she can't take any more demands to get well. That's a heart breaker for me as her daughter. She blames her age of 72 mostly. It's tough for me to understand but we go back to everyone is different.

What I hear you say is psychologically and emotionally you're shot, cooked, done. Makes sense, and that's your choice, like it's my mom's. I respect that, but Lin, you came to Connect for a reason. What would you say is your reason? How can we, here on Connect, help?

PS: You won me over by saying, "getting thru each day is all I can do".

PSS: I get thru the next 5 minutes. Small wins.