Hi Ruby,
Completely agree with you about the difficulty of finding a therapist these days, as I also have encountered this situation. Meds can only do so much, and sometimes depression resurges. I can relate to waking up under a cloud as Marjou mentions. Feels like nothing can break the spell, and ones ability to do anything becomes a greater struggle every day. I've even felt down because I have depression:)
Despite numerous pep talks to myself, it gets to the point where all is gloom and doom, yet still cannot get moving. I finally realized that part of my problem was watching too much news and weather adding to my anxiety and inertia. Most of spring went by without me stepping outside. Even when the days were decent, I stayed indoors.
I was sort of forced outdoors by the requirements of my yard and needs of my senior beagle, and as I got a little sunshine and watched the little nature show of the neighborhood, started to feel a little less miserable. A month later, and depression is relieved, and feeling more in control of things. Completing little projects seems to inspire me to work on others.
Allowing my adult children to help more, doesn't feel too terrible, despite my initial resistance. (I should be able to do everything by myself, like I always have even though I have numerous medical issues.)
My daughter has convinced me to let go of restoring an old upright piano which I have not made any progress on, and my son is having a tree service out to take down an old tree that is tangled in power lines, etc. I do feel blessed and for the most part feel much better.
This morning however, I have discovered a banking error which has shattered my confidence. My latest utility bill made no sense to me. there were minuses behind the recent and current amounts. After an hour or so spent checking my bank statements, I found that I had overpaid my account by triple the amount due. While it's nice not to have to pay this quarter and have a balance to pay the next as well, I have never made such such an error and feel frightened of developing some sort of dementia. The grasp of nouns or adjectives that has become a joke in the family is starting not to feel so amusing. The threat of mental decline is one of my greatest fears, and I do wonder whether or not their is a strong correlation between long term depression and the 'A' word. Did my giving an inch make Karma take a mile?