← Return to Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

Discussion

Ashamed: I think about (and plan for) dying. Do you?

Lung Cancer | Last Active: Jun 18 10:01am | Replies (204)

Comment receiving replies
@harriethodgson1

My husband died almost 2 years ago. Writing his obituary took me two days. This made me think of the tasks that awaited my daughter after I died. I wrote my obituary, bought two file cabinets and filed important papers, de-cluttered a bit (I have more to do) and labeled my apartment cupboards--photos, books I'd written etc.

In addition, I sent her the name of my lawyer and financial advisor. When I sent my obituary to my daughter, she wouldn't read it, and assured me I have lots of time left. At age 86 I'm not so sure. Doing these things were acts of love and will ease my daughter's burdens when I'm gone.

Jump to this post


Replies to "My husband died almost 2 years ago. Writing his obituary took me two days. This made..."

You did everything absolutely right and have nothing to be ashamed of. In fact the reverse is true. During my working life I worked for two probate and trust attorneys for 23 years. I know first hand what happens when plans and information are not in place. Bravo to you!

My husband is in the nursing home and I am in poor health. I did the same as you. I agree with the previous poster. Now that is done, you are free to think of things that can bring you peace instead of dread or worry. We all live an unfinished life, but there are things that we can do that are acts of love for those who must deal with our passing. I don't know where we got this silly idea that we are to be ashamed of the natural feelings that come with the milestones of life. It is like trying to ignore the elephant in the room. Please feel free to say anything you want. It helps people like me to believe in ourselves. The things that I pray for in my latter years is wisdom and peace.

@harriethodgson1 As the eldest child I am trying to address this topic with my 90 yr old mother without success. Thank you for sharing as I too agree this is an act of love and kindness.