I’m glad to find you all here. Trying to talk with others that haven’t experienced depression is extremely frustrating!
I have had short-cycling depression all my life (bipolar depression). Medications haven’t been properly diagnosed due to my alcohol use, denial, and half-hearted attempts at doctors. I’m 60 years old now, recently sober and the same pattern is there. I thought effexor helped years ago, but I couldn’t afford to stay on it without insurance. Lexapro might have helped, but was still drinking. I have to try meds again now because I can’t function. I’m having a hard time just making an appointment; stuck, no motivation.