I can’t tell you how many times I have thought the same thing re: Gabapentin. It is rare that I’m not checking my watch and waiting every day for my 4 pm dose because pain is setting in. Then I wonder if that means I’m addicted. But I do believe it’s because the pain is real, and that the Gabapentin is just the best and safest thing for us right now.
Throughout life, I have doctors throwing HARD pain meds at me for each nagging pain, and I’m like “Woah!!! I’m not trying to MASK the pain, I’m looking to FIX the pain”. Sometimes, like for surgeries, injuries etc it made sense to mask it while we knew our bodies were healing, so I would indulge in very temporary pain relief; I always feared dependency that we’ve all read about.
But I’m like you, I would be ok taking Gabapentin for the rest of my life because I’ve accepted that we have something that doctors admit they can’t heal, and I think it must work since we know when the medicine is wearing off. Gabapentin does not make me “high”, drugged feeling, or unsafe. I can safely walk, drive, and function. Would I have even more energy without Gabapentin? Probably, but I’m sure my neuropathic pain and discomfort would counteract that benefit.
So I too wonder if I’ve become “addicted” and if I’d have withdrawal issues if I needed to stop; but until they find a safer alternative, or better yet, a cure for the pain and other life interfering effects of idiopathic neuropathy, I’m ok with Gabapentin for life and hope I stay stable. With that said, I have not tried any of the pain clinics and not certain if they take you off 100% of medications, but I’ve recently dabbled in acupuncture and if there are success stories of getting off Gabapentin for a sure tried holistic remedy, I would consider trying to get off Gabapentin with proper supervision.