Oh gosh, my friend. I can just feel your desperation in the last 2 sentences. I’m not a mental health professional but from experience I do know that negative self talk is our very worst enemy. It fills our head with so much darkness and anxiety. You’re not a lost cause, you’re not lazy or pathetic or useless. What will help you to fix this is to find the person who is lost inside of you. A small beginning would be to change the perspective on how you think about yourself.
https://www.verywellmind.com/things-to-do-if-you-are-feeling-worthless-5087740
Has your doctor ruled out underlying medical conditions? Another member mentioned fibromyalgia.
Your bloodwork seemed to be fine for thyroid, but I’m wondering if you’ve had your estrogen level checked. I shared my experience with you and the huge difference balancing my hormones made. I went from ‘deep dark night’ back to my old self with a hormone replacement and my anxiety/depression issues disappeared. That was over 20+ years ago and it has never recurred. I’m not saying that’s what has happened to you. But it is an example of how our bodies can get out of whack through nothing we’ve done wrong!

Anxiety can cause a great deal of debilitating symptoms including depression. From experience I know how anxiety can take over your life and mushroom from there.
You mentioned being on Lexapro in a previous comment. Who prescribed this and has there been any follow up? Did it help you at all? There are other medications on the market that can help with anxiety too.

The best medication doesn’t come from a bottle though. Our own body and mind have remarkable abilities to heal and regenerate through exercise. I know you ache and don’t feel motivated. But I’d really like you to challenge yourself daily to get out and walk. If not outside, then inside the house. Start slowly with a goal in mind of a lap around the yard. Increase that every day. It won’t be a cure all but I’m willing to bet it will make a difference in your daily life.
This small step towards getting the blood moving, the muscles being fed with blood and oxygen will start breaking the cycle of sitting around without a sense of accomplishment. It’s an important beginning.

@gingerw had a very good suggestion to speak with a counselor/therapist to help you get started on a journey to wellness. Have you spoken with a therapist?