Just know that you have been a wonderful mom to your animals. I know that from what you wrote. I can feel your pain. My last dog died shortly before Covid. She had Lymphoma. It happened so fast. I had to let her go, I couldn't watch her suffer. I was just broken. Take comfort knowing you gave all of them a wonderful life and believe me they know it.
Please message me as often as you wish if you need to talk about anything. You are strong!