What really helps me cope with stage 4 recurrence Pancreatic Cancer are my children and grandchildren. I live with my daughter and grandchildren since the birth of my oldest grandson (12), next grandson (10,) and 5 year old granddaughter. I am a former K-12 teacher and caring for them has brought me joy. Being around my daughter an MD internal medicine and geriatrics at UCLA has been very person to have close. I have been lucky since my 2017 diagnosis, NED for 2 plus years and now almost 3 years since recurrence. I presently am anxious and down in the dumps about a possible return to old standard chemo 5FU. The idea of going through the insertion of the port, losing my hair again and testing my resolve. Living with grand kids keeps me positive and feelings about cancer in check but when I'm alone the blues rolls in. I have none of the known genetic markers even though my father died of pancreatic stage 4 cancer in the 1980's. So treatment is limited. We have to just plug along and count our blessings and think about gratitude. Helping others has always helped most of all. Leigh