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I'm sure many of you won't want to read all this, and that's fine, but I have no one else to vent to, so you are it. I have a close friend, we went to Business School together - 1963-1964 - and we have remained friends - "safe" friends. Her husband is diabetic and about 20 years ago began to get those sores on his foot who had to be treated by a specialist, and he had to have special shoes. Then about 4 years ago he developed kidney problems and has been on dialysis ever since, first 3 times a week at the hospital and then with a dialysis set up at home. Then his liver enzymes shot up, he became very yellow .... back into the hospital. He has a mass in his pancreas which they biopsied and it is malignant. They were testing him today, I believe via an MRI, to see if any cells had gravitated to the connection between the pancreas and the liver. I have not heard anything more, but I've been praying every time I think of them. She is such a dear friend and I just hurt so badly for them both. I'll call her tomorrow ... since I have not heard anything today, I'm concerned the news isn't good. But, I'll just wait and see, and hopefully I'm wrong.
Barbara /abby
Replies to "I'm sure many of you won't want to read all this, and that's fine, but I..."
Hi Barbara,
I know how difficult it is to be close to someone going through a scare like your friends. My brother has type 1 diabetes and isn’t taking care of himself and I worry about him. Like you, I pray for him. Of course you’re concerned about someone you love. You obviously have great compassion for your friends. Try not to allow it to consume you. Great advice to let go and let God! When I feel anger or frustration about my brother’s situation, I close my eyes, take 10 deep breaths and ask for Gods help to remove my fear. All I can do is love my brother and pray for him.
I have depression. I practice distraction techniques that help my mind to focus on positivity. That doesn’t mean I’m not there and supportive for others in my life, I just know I can provide better support when I’m not too emotionally caught up in situations myself. Letting go is one way to do that. Do you have a therapist or use any distraction techniques like meditation, exercise or hobbies?
You’re obviously a good friend, that’s valuable! Remember that!
Hi friends .... I appreciate those of you who responded. I heard from my friend today and her husband has stage 4 cancer in his pancreas, liver, and lung. He also right now cannot stand up as his blood pressure is so low. I believe they are just going to go home, and try to enjoy the time they have together. God knows what lies ahead for him, and we're praying he won't suffer, and the Lord will take him Home before it reaches that point.
Thanks to all who have answered.
Barb/abby
If he hasn’t gone into hospice, it seems like an appropriate time for it, if the doctor believes he has less than 6 months to live. Hospice at home is not intrusive and can be a great help for the person served as well as the caregiver. It also makes it less likely that he’ll suffer, since hospice is designed to make the patient as comfortable as possible at all times. Best wishes.
Simply wonderful advice 🙏🏻
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Barb,
You sound like a very caring person and one that your friend is very lucky to have. And praying for her husband is the best you can do at this moment. However, something that goes hand in hand with prayer is "letting go and let God". All the stress and worry you produce is not helping anyone... but it is affecting you. Please know that being available for your friend and sharing with God is not only ALL you can do but the BEST you can do. Whatever happens is in God's hands. Find that "Peace that passes all understanding".
Blessings & Health!