California. Waiting to hear

California.

Even though I endure long, harsh winters in northern MN, I would choose MN…..I can’t believe I’m saying this! My husband works in soil/water and given the climate change risks relevant in CA, this would be a critical reason to consider MN. Taxes are high, but I’m thinking so are CA. Just some thoughts

@artscaping

I suppose in your situation… if one had the funds .. both could be chosen and spend part of the year one place & then switch. As time and situation changes with health possibilities and loss of spouse things would change. There is no crystal ball to tell us where life or death will lead our family.

My husband was in the US Army for 20 years … bulk of our duty posts were our last two … Ft Story and Ft Lee Virginia. Our parents lived in Georgia. None of my siblings lived near my parents at the time. My husband has a brother and sister in the area. So smeo e to help his parents if needed.

When my husband retired from the Army and he asked where I wanted to live .. I thought of the no-allergies I had in Hawaii .. but my answer was “my home is wherever you are”. The where to physically live at was only in my mind for a moment. I was fine with anywhere that had very little snow. The person I am to spend the rest of my life with .. until death do us part… is the most important part of my life and not a place.

Since I had no preference as to where we lived... The decision where we lived was my husband's. Our daughter was living in Richmond VA and our son still had another year of high school. We decided to wait until after his graduation to move. He came with us to Georgia. He did not have the means to live on his own yet and he did not want to live with his sister.

My husband's reasoning of his decision was that if my parent's health became very bad we could be there for them. I am next to youngest of 5 children.. 3 older brothers and a younger sister. My two oldest brothers moved back to Georgia not long after we did. Long story here…. but the short one is they were sorry sons and broke my parents financially and emotionally. Us 3 youngest helped them financially. I got the brunt of the emotional part. It was not like nowadays…. no cell phones.. no video calls… just letters ever once in awhile and phone calls at holidays. My parents gifted me their property. .. 35 miles from where we live. It was officially our responsibility to pay the taxes that we had been paying for several years.

It has been difficult at times moving back to Georgia.. but I truly believe it is where we needed to be and where we still shouod be. My dad passed in 2000 and my mom in 2020. Mom spent her last two years in my and my husband's care. My sister passed in 2018 and my next to oldest brother in 2019. I have not talked to my oldest brother since September 2020. He really had not been my brother since I was 7 and he 12. .. so to me no great loss. He stole from mom past her death.

Our daughter and husband now live near Atlanta.. for some reason she likes big cities. Our son and his family live about a 90 minute drive east of us. We have 4 grandchildren. Sometimes we think of moving and we have decided to try and discard our junk and stay here as long as possible. You never know where life nor death will lead your family.

My wishes for continued happiness for you and your spouse for many years to come.

So far 54 mostly happy years by my spouse's side … nothing is perfect, but we were made to be with each other.

ZeeGee

So......here is your answer. We chose MN. We had been going back and forth between the two homes for 6 years, living and enjoying friends and nature on the river and on the mountain.
1. A huge issue at the time was health care for Jay. It is now also the biggest issue for me.
2. We wanted a home large enough to have family get-to-gathers. We continue to enjoy having to step around toys, games, and dancing grandchildren.
3. In the MN home we have options. The "overflow room" (2nd pantry) upstairs has high counters with room for a washer and dryer when we can no longer go downstairs.
4. We have plenty of room in the main guest suite downstairs to provide space for a caregiver and plan to outfit a kitchenette when needed.
5. We absolutely love living with nature. All year we have migratory birds and lots of ground critters, including our favorite Chippees who we have been training for 4years. There is nothing like watching spring open up with the most beautiful greens. With wrap-around views, a meditation walk, and 7 acres of manicured park-like landscaping, it fulfills the name Adams Landing. We also sold the CA mountain property for more than the MN property would have brought adding to our options by enabling us to hire gardening/landscaping help when needed.
6. We have pursued new activities and met new friends of choice, a surprisingly good outcome.

So, we have been living with this decision for almost 4 years and wouldn't change a thing. And remember, it took us a couple of years to face the decision, outline the risk/benefits and implement the plan.

Good luck to all of you as you face similar life decisions.

May you have happiness and the causes of happiness.
Chris