I was saddened to read of your situation, and can only imagine your agony in those moments. I “neuropathy” in my brachial plexus required me to retire from a lucrative pediatric dental practice in 2004 at 52. I am now 69 and was diagnosed with a new sensory and motor neuropathy in both legs.
It’s discouraging to be able to track my “decline”. I became interested in medical mission work in 1998, before my initial diagnosis, and had begun traveling internationally with incredible Christian dentists and physicians. I returned 6 days ago from a Ukraine, Gambia, Turkey “medical tour of duty”.
My faith has grown exponentially seeing medical “miracles” in some cases, and other “unexplainable” healing situations over the years that modern medicine can’t explain.
Without my Christian faith, I’m not sure how I could have gotten this far, and I know my journey is about to get more difficult. I don’t know anything about you, but I would encourage you, as in my case, to share all of your pains, fears, burdens, thoughts, etc with Jesus. I’m not a holy roller by any means, but I never miss a day spending time with Him.
I pray for your relief and release from the things and thoughts that are a result of you situation.