Hi @dmccuen219. I'm so sorry that the diagnosis affected you so severely. Huge kudos on the lifestyle changes you've been making - it truly makes a difference in managing CKD. Do you know the cause of your CKD? Is it genetic? Diabetes or high blood pressure? Something else?

My first nephrology appointment was at a similar point in the disease's progression (I have PKD). The focus then was setting up a regular appointment for labs and making sure that I was medicated to treat the issues that accompanied the CKD. I was fortunate because my biggest issue was high blood pressure which was easily controlled (at least it was in my case). If your CKD is progressing slowly then you can focus on your energy level and - from what I interpreted in your comments - a general malaise and possible depression.

All of these feelings are 100% normal.

I attended a seminar put on by the Minneapolis chapter of the National Kidney Foundation and one of the most powerful sessions was on Grief. It hit me hard. Up until that point, I hadn't allowed myself to grieve for a "normal" life that didn't revolve around my kidneys. Recently - as I get closer to transplant - I find myself grieving my independence as I realize that while I'm beyond grateful to get this second chance at health, it comes with conditions (medication, risk of skin cancer, immunosuppression, etc).

It's a process and it's very easy to become overwhelmed. So as hard as it may be, stop and take a breath. You're doing all you can right now. Then in your appointment, ask your doctor what you can do to reclaim some of your lost energy. Are there other conditions which might be affecting it? Has your thyroid been tested? I've found that admitting to myself that I have to pace myself - while annoying - was helpful.

If you're depressed, see if your doctor would recommend a low dose antidepressant. Start building your support network. Yes, family and friends. But now you need a medical support network as well. Make sure your primary and nephrologist are supportive of you - and of each other. If you don't feel you're getting the support you need, switch doctors.

Yes, this sucks. But you can do it. Best wishes.

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