This thread has really made me feel somewhat better. Being a caregiver is the most rewarding opportunity to truly serve someone who was and in different ways still is your constant best friend and partner in all areas and it is the most difficult and frustrating role that cannot be prepared for in advance. However, there are moments that keep me going and looking forward to the next moment. For example, my hubby and I were sitting on the couch and he looked at me and said, "Is it possible to fall in love all over again." I was stunned and so deeply touched. Then a few days later we went out to our favorite restaurant. He asked me if there was any place to go for a walk? (We live in a town where the nature walks are hot amd dirty and I was a little too dressed up for sweating) ....so my answer was that I couldn't think of one, and he said, "What about the mall or something? You are so pretty that I just want to show you off. " (I am not "pretty" - but he sees me as the most amazing person - and I am deeply touched amd amazed that even in this terrible journey of LBD with Parkinsons there are moments that still take my breath away.)
He does still drive, but he is handing the keys over more and more....however he just drove about 7 hours straight and the next day, he "let me drive two hours and he did the other four hours so we could go visit his 93 year old mother - there was no music and very little conversation. When we arrived he was very confused and could not make his words come out correctly. This upset his mom and of course I felt frustrated because he would not give up driving to let me help him. (It is hard for former pilots to give up control of anything that moves.) Now that we are here and rested some, he keeps asking when we are going home.
I realize that I have to a degree gotten off the topic of intimacy, but somehow in my mind all of this is related. If I drive he is anxious because he is not in control, if he drives, he is using so much energy that he is worn out quickly. I am going to end here, but the next time I write I would like to focus on sexual intimacy and hope for answers in that line of problems.
Hoping for good moments for all of us,
Jan