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@cloudedepiphany

Actually yes. As I look back I can see how the things I have been diagnosed with may have been there for quite a long time. Perhaps even the ADHD. However the thought its self is overwhelming.

I begin an IOP on the 16th, and that to is overwhelming to think about. Had to file official paperwork with my employer to take the needed time away to do it. So now it is not just something I have and keep to myself as best I can, its known by people outside of my comfort zone.

The day after the ADHD diagnosis I began Adderall...on top of what I already take. My overgrown ass having to take a medication that is given to children that bounce off the walls. I dont know how I feel about it all, however after years of the emotional chaos I'm open to whatever the Dr's say at this point.

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Replies to "Actually yes. As I look back I can see how the things I have been diagnosed..."

An intensive outpatient program will be interesting, don't you think? You have the opportunity to really get to the heart of the issues you see and what your doctor has seen. Just going off-the-cuff here, let me say this. Noone is telling you it will be easy. You may be tired emotionally/ mentally/physically each day. Days where you will doubt your decision to participate. That is to be expected; self-discovery can be taxing. Stick with it! Make sure you eat healthy, get outside to get exercise and fresh air. Don't forget to get good sleep.

If you haven't considered it, have you thought about journaling your experience? That is something I have done for decades. No need to go back over it unless you want to, and it gives you yet another insightful method to self-discovery. Here is a link to our journaling discussion:
– Journaling – The Write Stuff For You? https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/journaling-the-write-stuff-for-you/

Looking forward to your further sharing.
Ginger