Another misinterpretation. I was never going to hurt myself. It was a very bad night and I said those words. Why didn't anyone see I also said I gave my solemn promise to my son that I would never harm myself? I am not in a position to volunteer. Shortly after my husband's death I had to have a full hip replacement. I had to go through this alone. I am still taking physical therapy and need a cane to walk. So volunteering, going out for a walk, etc. are not for me. I have a ways to go yet.