Good morning @thisismarilynb Given what you just posted, I would suggest you call or text 988 for free to talk to a counsellor at the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org.

These folks are trained to help in ways beyond what we might be able to offer here online. Plus hearing a live voice and talking things through with a trained professional can be invaluable.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

You must try to get help. Losing ground is not an option. You are here for a reason and the person you lost does not define you. You are you because God created you and you are here on loan from him. Mikayla

Marilyn, good morning. You were tempted by the thought of taking pills to go to sleep and not wake up. I get that. But you also remembered your son and your promise to him. He is your reason for life right now and I'm glad you have that life raft.

As others have said, loss of your husband is hard. I'm grateful that you choose to reach out here to your cyber friends when you feel like you're losing ground. We're here. Reach out any time of day or night.

I agree with @IndianaScott about keeping the number of the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline close at hand.
The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones, in the United States.

- Call or text 988
- Chat with a counsellor at https://988lifeline.org/chat/

The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress. If you need to call and talk to somone, their trained counsellors are there to talk.

Tell me more about your son. You sound like you have a close relationship. Does he live near you? Do you get to see him regularly?