Hi, @janet7 I'll chime in here, just from the perspective of some of our personal experiences in this.

Some documents need to be legal documents, such as MPOA, POA, wills, etc. Also since situations, things, and people change over time, we made sure we had all these issues written down. For instance, my wife wanted to be cremated. One of her siblings insisted she never said that, so it was excellent it was written down by my wife.

I'd also add that in our case we were very happy we added our adult children to my wife's HIPPA forms so our children were able to speak directly with her doctors to get the same information I was getting, to avoid any 'coloring' of messages, and it helped remove a lot of my burden of having to act as the communications hub all the time. I also had a medical professional who disagreed with my decisions for my wife and it wasn't until I gave her the MPOA that she backed off and listened to me. As situations increase in complexity and immediacy, tensions can easily mount and having documents to support your decisions can be critical to follow what your loved one wanted -- and not others.

I keep a three-ring binder titled Just In Case and it has all kinds of end-of-life information in it. Things folks will need to know before there might be any formal will reading, etc. I also have key passwords, contacts' information, etc.

Strength, Courage, & Peace

@janet7. An individual's request or wishes can be written informally on a piece of paper-dated & signed by the individual & witnessed by 2 individuals who are not the chosen surrogate; or- the individual can use an approved document (usually state specific). I can attest only for us here in northeast Florida- a lawyer is not required to complete a living will or designation of health care surrogate. For northeast Florida for instance, Community Hospice worked with local hospital systems to come together to develop a living will and designation of health care surrogate form that would be used, recognized and followed. It is called Honoring Choices Florida (no lawyer required). Some may opt to use a lawyer in completing a living will and include statements designating who will represent the patient in medical decision-making if the individual becomes unable to express themselves. If a Mayo Clinic Florida patient, a 1:1 consultation can be ordered by your primary physician; we would encourage the patient to come with their significant other (s) and a trained facilitator will assist the patient in completing. If not a Mayo Clinic patient but a resident of northeast Florida, your local Community Hospice could assist. A key person that could assist you/your husband more specifically, is his primary care physician who can direct you to resources available in your region/state. Remember: Most importantly- is the individual's ability to make decisions in completing these if not already done; otherwise- if the individual is unable to, the right to speak on behalf of the patient falls to the next legal surrogate. Any hospital or care facility would work towards achieving goals set by the patient as long as within the legal limits of the law in the state in which the individual is receiving care. A lot of information- I know; keeping it as general as possible.