I think it is good to leave a plan for your children. That is normal. I have Lynch Syndrome which means I am at high risk for cancer and an auto immune disease called Rheumatoid Arthritis and severe asthma. I have to screen for lots of cancers I can get. I am also 43 and in menopause due to that at age 40. They found premalignant cells in my uterus and took it out and ovaries six months later. That was super hard because we wanted more kids. I have had lots of surgery in the past two years and still have the stress of work too which is hard because I am tired a lot. Right now the doctors are concerned about a blood cancer because of my blood counts and symptoms. Might have to do a bone marrow biopsy.

One thing I started doing when I got sick was make a memory book for each of my kid about family memories. And I also am doing a family history book like pics when I was kids and pics of their grandparents and great grandparents so they have their family history. I do it on Shutterfly.

One thing I would say, while it is good to plan out dying, you should make sure to also enjoy living with what time you have with your kids and make as many happy memories and go on trips if you can. I understand there can be limitations. For me even just taking my kids to the beach or park is a first step. I would love to go on vacation with them but haven't done it for a few years. I have been to Mayo in Rochester seven trips this year and another one coming up on June. I do what I can within my limits.

When I have bad days I focus on the memory books and things to leave for my kids. On the good days though I focus on that day and enjoying the most of every moment. I try new things in order to focus more on having fun and distracting myself. I recently went on a stand up paddle board in the water which was really fun. I can't run anymore so I find new things I can try. Next weekend we are going to take out our son who is 10 for the first time.