@cmb2022 Ooh, how lovely. Preparing lunch on the grill is definitely a warm weather activity, rain or no rain. I've not yet dragged the grill out from storage and from your note I'm thinking that might occur this coming weekend.

The brunch didn't happen because I was getting over a cold. I didn't want to expose my friends to a virus so I cancelled. 😟. I spent much of the weekend resting and reading with a few bouts of activity to clear up the clutter on my desk.

My Mayo Clinic appointments were reassuring. The radiation oncologist was encouraging since he said I'm healing well from the radiation therapy. When he did the vaginal exam I felt some discomfort and pain at the top of my vagina where the brachytherapy occurred in January. I've been following all the instructions for healing but that was a wake up to me that healing is still going on. I was so frightened before the Mayo visit and the exam once I was there that I all I wanted to do was run out of there. Fear does that to me. It's what my nervous system tells me to do. So, I stayed with the fear while I was in the waiting room and told myself over and over that the fear is normal. And I focused on breathing. The radiation oncologist told me that if there is a recurrence or another primary cancer it's unlikely anything would show up for at least a year. I take this to mean that I have a year without worrying I'm going to have to go back into cancer treatment and can live my life without too much focus every day on cancer. I know I get catastrophic in my thinking so I have to remind myself to rein it back and "don't believe everything I think". Just because I think it does not make it a fact. And here's another thing. Emotions come and go. At 70 years old I've had so much experience with my own emotions that I "know" I can't live in that crisis/shock mode for too long. Given time, my emotions will come back to a center.

I hope you're having a good week, my friend, and your energy is returning each day. I so appreciate your posts back and look forward to them.