I’m so sorry your family is experiencing frustration over finding help for these conditions! I have a close friend who’s daughter has bipolar. She refuses to take medication that has helped her in the past. She has daily outbursts and extremely poorly controlled anger. To compound the problem, she self medicates with alcohol. She’s an alcoholic. Automobile accidents, being evicted because of fighting, physical abuse of boyfriends, jail time, etc. She has two young children who she neglects. Luckily her X has the kids. Her family has tried everything to help her, she’s not cooperative! They even put her in rehab for alcoholism and she left after a week. She’s an adult, so her families influence is limited.
I know these stories are devastating for families. One thing I hear in yours is that your family member is willing to accept help. That is so important! I do understand your struggle is finding adequate help. I think a second opinion is a great idea. Fresh ideas might be very helpful. Unfortunately, I’m unfamiliar with inpatient treatment without commitment to an institution. That doesn’t mean it’s not available! Most treatment I’m familiar with are outpatient programs. I’m sure you’ve done your homework there! Sometimes doctors run out of ideas to help patients. Other times they have provided top notch care, but there are ongoing challenges.
I truly hope you find the help you need. My heart goes out to you, your family member is fortunate to have you! Take care of yourself!