Even after he's sober though? While in rehab, he told me he couldn't wait to get back and show me what a better person he was and make it up to me, and now he is back and just, what, doesn't care I guess? It's so confusing.

sorry it took so long to get back. Even though rehab is done, trust me, he is still craving those substanses. He may view you negatively, like you stood in the way of his using. He would never admit that, but coming from experience, one who lost his family, including the one i loved the most, that is what he is thinlking. He doesnt want to lose you,but he will hold you accountable for getting sober, until his obsession to use leaves. That obsession to us is there for some time, its difrerent for everyone. Unfortunately, your relationship could tske years to repair, if it lasts. I know it sounds bad but that is what those drugs do, they destroy anything that is good or pure.

I've been addicted to hydrocodone i.e. Lortab, Lorcet, for almost 20 years. I have been taking methadone for 6 years which is substituting one for another. The only difference for me is this: the very first dose of methadone that I took changed EVERYTHING about my addiction. For me, I can remember the exact day that I took the first pain pill 20 years ago. I was in a horrible marriage (thank God we had no children together) but he was not faithful and that had consumed MY life. I had been dealing with the unfaithfulness for 6 years and it was the very first thought in my mind every single day! That was MY fault! I had a horrible headache that day and my daddy had been to the dentist that day too. When I saw daddy I asked him and my mama if they had anything for a headache? He gave me one Percocet. Within 20 minutes I felt the best I had felt in 6 years!! I actually felt relief, happy, no worry; just a warm fuzzy happy feeling. Within 3 hrs. I was back for another one. Then another. Then another, etc. etc. So I figured it out. I went to a neurologist for migraines, got a rx for Lortab and I was on my way. On my way to a life of addiction! For 20 years that was my first thought in the morning and my last thought of the day. Sick! I went to rehab and went through withdrawal cold-turkey. I walked those halls for 3 days and 3 nights. Finally, after the worst of physical withdrawals, I told my counselor that "I felt funny or weird." She told me that I was feeling normal! It had been so long since I felt "normal" it felt "weird"! I went home after 6 days, went to 12 weeks of outpatient therapy, didn't miss one day and I went to 90 NA meetings in 90 days! I didn't miss ONE meeting! After I quit the meetings I started using again. I went to rehab again 6 or 7 years later. This time they were using Mepergan(?) shots to ween people off their drug of choice, which mine was still pain pills. I stayed 5 days, went home and used. After 4 or 5 more years of using I heard about the methadone clinics and started going. I took my first dose that morning, after seeing the doctor and talking to my counselor, and I did not even THINK about a pain pill the whole day! I still can't believe it. My life had been a life of running down pills! I was tired, depressed, broke, and spiritually broken. I do know that I have exchanged one narcotic for another, BUT I don't spend $100 a day on pills, I can keep a job, I can make better decisions but most of all I FEEL BETTER THAN I HAVE FELT IN 20 years and I never ever think about hunting down my next pill! I do not take any kind of pain pill at all and I don't even think about it. I do understand how his addiction is affecting you and I DO KNOW THIS: It is NOT about you! No matter what you say, do, promise or threat, it won't work. Addiction is not about Will Power! Addiction is absolutely "physical". It is a diagnosed disease. Like I was told in rehab...."people don't ask to be diabetics, they just have the physical body make-up to be one." The same applies to addicts. God knows I never wanted this! I will keep you and your friend in my prayers. Please don't think I'm advertising for methadone, I'm not. This is just my truth.

bcollier-
Thank you for helping put things in persepctive. I completely agree that it is a physical disease, dianosis and all. He doesn't. He says he isn't an addict, he is a "former drug user." I know rationally that it isn't about me, but emotionally it is difficult. I can't seem to get it thorugh my thick skull that no matter what I say, it won't affect him or change anything. However, I'm cutting him off, painful as it is. My God, this has been the most difficult thing I've had to go through. I would not wish it upon anyone.