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@sueinmn

Hi Cindi - I have a LOoong track record of orthopedic surgeries, going back 25 years, and with six different orthopedic surgeons. I have also had somewhere near a dozen other surgeries by 7-8 docs.
Something my primary doc told me before my first ortho surgery (her husband was a surgeon) was not to expect "warm and fuzzy" from any surgeon - that "many, if not most, prefer their patients unconscious" - then she laughed, but I have found the statement is more true than not!
One of my surgeons actually left the room and let his PA explain the procedure, another simply handed me a written explanation. If I wasn't an assertive patient, no questions might have been answered.

Here is what I do now whenever seeing an unfamiliar doc:
Write down the reason for the visit
Write all my questions checklist style on a small pad, with room to write answers alongside.
Listen carefully to the doc's initial explanation without interrupting or writing anything (active listening)
Look at my list and see if there are still unanswered questions. If so, ask them and insist on answers.
After the visit, sit down in the waiting area & go over notes, see if I have any follow-up questions. If the doctor has an on-line communication portal, I send a message when I get home. If not I write them down & ask the front desk to give them to the doctor or his nurse for a follow-up call.

To answer your question about how many times I see a surgeon before an operation - usually once, when it is proposed and explained, unless it is something where we are trying to decide between surgery and more conservative treatment.

Having had bilateral hip surgeries twice, I would recommend that you give your body enough time between operations to recover - I had one set of hip surgeries 6 weeks apart (TOO close!) and one set about 4 months (worked for me.) And be ready to work at your recovery - the more you follow the multiple times daily stretching & strengthening protocols, along with ice, intermittent rest, etc, the better you will do.

If a half dozen doctors have given you the same answer about needing surgeries, it is time to choose one and get started. This will give you, and not your pain, control of your life.

If you still feel paralyzed by your fears, maybe you need to talk to a counselor or therapist to get to "Go" ?
Sue

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Replies to "Hi Cindi - I have a LOoong track record of orthopedic surgeries, going back 25 years,..."

Thank you very much, good advice. I have finally decided to "go through with it." My fears paralyzed me for years until the pain got so bad I can't stand it any more. I kind of like the doctor I (finally) decided to have surgery with. I guess even if a doctor is the greatest he doesn't have to be compassionate in speech or manner? Although this doctor is pleasant enough. It's nice if he is, but I guess he doesn't have to be endearing, although this one tries to be, I think. But anyway I feel inclined to this last surgeon I saw and expect to go through with the surgery. Not looking forward to the aftermath, but naturally hoping I feel better after the surgery. And that I don't die or stroke out on the table. I feel confident enough although I'm 78.

Hi, I know it's been a while but I want to answer. I am scheduled (finally!) for hip surgery tomorrow. Yayy! The surgeon has a stellar reputation, came into the room and spoke to me no longer than 10 minutes, the only question I had was about my blood pressure being too high (for which another surgeon refused to take me until it came down). This surgeon said don't worry, anesthesia will take it down anyway! I'm getting hip numbing anesthesia, he told me anyway I wouldn't remember a thing. I''m not too happy about that -- but at this point point I want to get it over with and hope it 'works,' since I am unable to function with all the pain.
Take care.

The last surgeon virtually threw me out of the room because I questioned him about something wrong with his eye. (wow.) But he was also brutal in telling me about the pain I would have after the operation. (Glad he threw me out...)
So I guess I probably won't do that again with a doctor. ? Or anyone maybe about telling them about a bloodshot eye.
Meantime I found a surgeon with an absolutely fantastic reputation and am having the surgery done tomorrow I couldn't stand the pain and of course, I hope it goes well.