Hi Cindi - I have a LOoong track record of orthopedic surgeries, going back 25 years, and with six different orthopedic surgeons. I have also had somewhere near a dozen other surgeries by 7-8 docs.
Something my primary doc told me before my first ortho surgery (her husband was a surgeon) was not to expect "warm and fuzzy" from any surgeon - that "many, if not most, prefer their patients unconscious" - then she laughed, but I have found the statement is more true than not!
One of my surgeons actually left the room and let his PA explain the procedure, another simply handed me a written explanation. If I wasn't an assertive patient, no questions might have been answered.

Here is what I do now whenever seeing an unfamiliar doc:
Write down the reason for the visit
Write all my questions checklist style on a small pad, with room to write answers alongside.
Listen carefully to the doc's initial explanation without interrupting or writing anything (active listening)
Look at my list and see if there are still unanswered questions. If so, ask them and insist on answers.
After the visit, sit down in the waiting area & go over notes, see if I have any follow-up questions. If the doctor has an on-line communication portal, I send a message when I get home. If not I write them down & ask the front desk to give them to the doctor or his nurse for a follow-up call.

To answer your question about how many times I see a surgeon before an operation - usually once, when it is proposed and explained, unless it is something where we are trying to decide between surgery and more conservative treatment.

Having had bilateral hip surgeries twice, I would recommend that you give your body enough time between operations to recover - I had one set of hip surgeries 6 weeks apart (TOO close!) and one set about 4 months (worked for me.) And be ready to work at your recovery - the more you follow the multiple times daily stretching & strengthening protocols, along with ice, intermittent rest, etc, the better you will do.

If a half dozen doctors have given you the same answer about needing surgeries, it is time to choose one and get started. This will give you, and not your pain, control of your life.

If you still feel paralyzed by your fears, maybe you need to talk to a counselor or therapist to get to "Go" ?
Sue