@daliea Okay, I hear you. Sometimes I find that the video helps folks to process the cycle of pain for when they have questions about what and why their body is creating such chaos as yours does. Pain management of course is not for everyone, and I understand that, but you can't blame a girl for trying.

I remember what hopelessness feels like. I know that I had to reach down real deep to even want to find a sliver of hope. It is very difficult to do when you are debilitated, exhausted, depressed, anxious and are constantly hurting.

Beginning with a small goal and making small steps toward that goal can be empowering. One my goals was to drink more water. Sounds stupid, but I did it. What small goal can you see yourself working towards?

This sounds unreasonably negative. The 'experts' are often not expert in the fullest sense. The gravity of what they know often constrains their vision. Read about pain and how the brain can get into pain habits long after a problem has healed. Learning to avoid catastrophising is a great first step - extrapolate from the pain you have now to a future with more pain will increase the pain you have now. In a sense, 'chilling' in spit of pain is ideal. I have had 3 decades of various pains and can testify to that.