It’s because I love you…

No words right now..

An awesome beginning to a needed conversation that we each must have for peace-of-mind. I have had care plans in place since 2015, to the extent of pre-need arrangements made and paid for. It's important.

Thank you for the reminder to review if need be, and to encourage a start if not in place already. It is not easy to be reminded of our mortality.
Ginger

@ginger It is so necessary to have your plans for the family members to see your wishes and it's a good feeling to have everything prepaid .

As necessary as written directives are this poem goes deeper than mechanics like cemetery plots and healthcare plans. I think that it deals with making sure that the people who will be involved with your care really know you well enough to understand what you would or wouldn't want just in case something is missed you all of your written directives. You need someone to say, "oh, mom wouldn't like that at all."

I have used 5 Wishes for my planning, along with the necessary legal paperwork. I found it to be very thorough and offers a wide range of ideas, not just the "nuts and bolts". When I had my surgery in December, I had my advanced healthcare directive loaded into my file at the hospital. It included all the plans, including the 5 Wishes. I have been fortunate enough to be part of conversations with people who are forward thinking their ideas and getting everything in writing. And funny, that the talks usually start with "because I love you...and want you to be part of your final arrangements done in the manner you want..."
Ginger

@ginger I've made my end plans but now it's time to talk with my son ,I tried before but he didn't want to hear it ,his wife I have told her some

Ginger and Linda- I agree that it's important to have everything written out, notarized, and do whatever is necessary. We have everything finished and signed but I'm not so sure that my sister and son know what I would want as we never talk about it. With having so many cancers and still getting more I think that they don't like to think about it.

But it's a fantastic idea to have everything loaded onto your doctor's file. I hope that someday we all have a chip implanted so that all our up-to-date information and requests are at the ready.

My folks never talked about anything concerning death so it's very difficult for me to address this with my family. Of course, my husband knows everything but not the little things like who I want to leave two engagement rings to or who gets first dibs on stuff.

Ginger, in broad terms what do you mean by wishes?

My mother never wanted to talk about her wishes. Then when she was in the throes of dementia and Alzheimers, there was no way to connect. My father later was just the opposite, and we did the best we could to honor what he wanted.

You can document what things you want to go to specific people in a document or letter.

In broad terms, things like: do I want visitors, do I want someone to read to me or play music, do I want someone to hold my hand [or not], in case I cannot communicate this. Comfort care type things. https://www.fivewishes.org/
Ginger

I’ll only add this — be certain someone knows where these documents are since they will need to be accessed fast. Plus, at least in my wife’s case, she found great comfort in passing on certain treasured items in person so she could explain why it was important to her and why she picked that person to receive it.

Hello Ms. Ginger,
I am very happy the poem is well received! Hopeful that it will help individuals have a soft way to start a hard conversation with loved ones. Congratulations on having the forethought to have care plans in place; and as you mentioned, to review any documents completed every few years to ensure your wishes remain the same or update them. Many individuals tuck these away, as with a life or automobile insurance policy & don’t pull them out until they are needed.