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Introductions: Are you caring for someone with dementia?
Caregivers: Dementia | Last Active: Mar 17 6:30pm | Replies (762)Comment receiving replies
Scott,
I'm looking for some advice. My beautiful wife of 53 years has progressed from MCI to dementia per our last meeting with the neurologist. The advice I’m looking for has to do with our future. Based on your experience, how can I plan for the changes in front of us. I’m not looking for financial advice but what changes should I make to our one story house? I’ve had the doors to the master bedroom & master bath changed to accommodate a wheelchair. I’ve replaced the gas stove with an electric stove. I have alarms on the doors to let me know if anyone leaves or enters the house.
Can you think of anything else I should be looking on changing?
My mother and my wife’s mother both ended up in (an expensive ) nursing homes and because of those experiences, neither one of us wants to go that route. When you go into a nursing home, you lose you independence, privacy and most embarrassing of all, control over your life. I will do anything & everything to keep my wife from going into a nursing home. In our area, nursing homes are charging 14-15 thousand dollars a month, so if I can do anything to keep my wife home and it costs less than a nursing home, then we are ahead of the game.
Thanks for any advice.
Dan
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Hi @tunared Thanks for reaching out on this important aspect of caregiving. I am sure others will have ideas and I will continue to think about the changes I made., but I wanted to get back to you quickly to let you know I'm thinking about this.
We, too, have a one-story house. My wife was able to be home for her entire journey, although I fully know that is not possible for all. Her last 14 months were in home hospice, which was a godsend. Here are the adjustments I made that I recall first. I removed all throw rugs. I rearranged our bedroom by pushing our bed against a wall and made room for a hospital bed, even though we didn't need it right away. Our bathroom was full of ssues I never fully resolved. Our shower was a step-in and even its tiny ledge became too big a barrier. Likewise I had to remove and replace the edge piece between our bedroom carpet and the bathroom tile because it was a tiny bit higher than either and it caught her toes, then the wheels on her chair. I added grab bars on either side of the toilet. Perhaps most importantly I bought some of those adhesive stickers for tubs and showers and put them on our bathroom floor to help with slipping, but tended to not cause tripping. I bought a supply of the cheapest washcloths I could find so when they became too stained, I could toss them. I also bought some thin towels for post-bathing so the drying cycle for them was quicker than with our old, heavy towels.
Not sure of your setup, but we have two steps from the house to the garage so I found a wheelchair ramp I could put there. My wife became quite scared when I would lower her down the stairs without it, so I was happy this helped her relax and be more open to going out to our driveway and/or garage for some fresh air.
As silly as this probably sounds, I laid in a big supply of my favorite 'cheat snack'. For me that is peanut butter filled pretzels. I found having those on hand offered me the chance to easily treat myself on those inevitable extra difficult days.
Not financial, but we also attended to the necessary legal papers. POA, medical POA, estate/wills, advance directives, and (I don't know if you have adult children or not) but included our adult children and all of my wife's specialists on her HIPPA forms so I didn't always need to be the informational hub.
I'll keep thinking!
Strength, Courage, & Peace