@cmb2022. Yes, there are days I feel alone too. I'm glad to hear you are getting better sleep.

Yesterday I received a phone call from Mayo Clinic. I couldn't answer the phone right away but when I saw the area code and realized it was Mayo I became very nervous and couldn't concentrate until I listened to the message. It was a phone call to change an appointment. I became anxious because it was late October last year when I got the phone call about the recurrence. While I'm grateful that I have good health insurance that allows me to to be seen at Mayo and for all the care I have received it doesn't mediate the anxiety I feel about being a cancer survivor. The anxiety is there and I continue to work on acceptance. There is a saying that is meaningful to me. "When you argue with reality, you lose.." Are you familiar with radical acceptance? That's what I mean by acceptance. Not that I'm giving up or hopelessness sort of acceptance. It's a way to view reality for what it is, not that I have to like it or agree with it, but not fighting with it. It's a challenge for me because like you I"m a take charge person. I can help to direct my cancer care but I can't take charge of reality.

Your cancer survivorship plan is like mine. Every 3 months for 2 years and then every 6 months for the next 3 years. My take charge personality means that I will show up at all of my appointments and do whatever the cancer care team advises. Your next appointment is not long after mine so I'll be sending you positive energy now and as the appointment time comes closer.

And yes, of course it's okay that you refer to me as a friend. I feel the same about you as we are partners in this cancer thing and have shared so much here.