@rwinney Well, looks like for the first time in my 32 years of life, I finally gave myself a little grace, as you said. Last night, I had an assignment due for school - after a long, busy day already - and, my body hit a wall. I just couldn't do it, no matter how much I tried to force it. So, I accepted defeat and went to bed. I decided to accept the late penalty for it - which I've been guilt tripping myself about all day btw - and do it when I get home from work shortly. I'm disappointed, but I had no choice but to relent. I guess sometimes you "have" to put your own health and wellbeing first, no matter the consequences for yourself or others. I've tried journaling multiple times in the past, and it's always left me feeling really angry, so I gave up finally. It usually ends in a bonfire lol 😉 Yes, I am very familiar with diaphragmatic breathing, meditation and mindfulness. Unfortunately, I don't do them often enough, only when I "need" to in the moment. So, yesterday I met with my regular neurologist and we had a really good chat about everything. More testing in my future, but I'm glad he's always so proactive and truly my advocate. Yes, I will keep you posted on all that. As always, thank you for the encouragement 🙂 Hope YOU are doing well too! Keep fighting the good fight!
@rivermaya34 Good for you on the grace thing! You'll hopefully find the reward in doing so in order to preserve and manage symptoms better. You know, it actually makes you stronger and more in control than you think. At first it may feel like defeat, because it's something you're not used to doing, but in time, with practice and repetition, you will develop a more powerful self-awareness that benefits you physically, emotionally, and cognitively. Atta girl! 💪 I know it's hard and frustrating, but keep up the good work, one step at a time
I used to be very angry when journaling. It shifts all those harbored angry thoughts from your brain to paper as a form of release. Maybe try limiting your journal time to 5-10 minutes each day and counter the angry thoughts with positive gratitude. These practices don't happen overnight, it takes time, patience and belief like anything else. Here's some info I learned and follow from pain rehab that might be helpful for you:
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/comment/689809/
Onward and upward with more testing. It sounds like you have good doctors in your corner who are committed to the search and communicate well with you. Excellent! You know where to find me if you need me...until then I will wait to hear on any new findings or revelations.
The good fight is worth fighting! 😊